22-12-02 - Friday I - Birthday Boy

So, 51 I was yesterday. I've made it past the half-century. I had a lovely day, it was really downtempo, but it was just me. I had a haircut and a beard trim, which is a nice treat. I like the barber, it's a regular visit for me; normally the shop is empty so it is only me and him, but I am beginning to think I need a change up. 

Then I wandered in to town and had brunch at Malt Cafe. I really like it there. They cater to all types; carnivores, vegetarians, vegans and the undecided. I asked for a savoury snack, since I didn't think I was that hungry, and they recommended smashed avocado on sourdough toast. I took their advice and ordered that, and it was delicious. I was hungrier than I thought; I near enough wolfed it down!

I also bought a newspaper for the first time in an age and flicked through that, which was nice. It's all very well listening to the headlines on the radio, or catching a few minutes of the news at 10pm, or catching up on the latest controversy on Twitter, but there is something special about reading a newspaper and catching a story I hadn't been aware of. 

Of course, walking all that distance meant I easily hit my 10,000 steps for the day. So I felt quite justified in enjoying a slice of birthday cake in the evening... 

We also had our first fire in our new house, which didn't go quite to plan; the coal we've bought is a bit wet and so getting the fire going is a bit difficult, but with some wood to set it, it heated up the dining room quite nicely. 

And that was my day. May there be many more, full of small wins.

TTFN.

22-10-13 - Thursday I - Developments

So, Mum's recently moved into a care home. She wasn't really enjoying life at home with a live-in carer, but we kept her at home for as long as we could. Eventually she refused to have the carers in her house, and so I had to go and stay with her for a few days over a weekend. 

It made sense really. Although I didn't really want to do it, I had looked after her for five months before the carers came, and it made sense to do the last few days before (hopefully) she moved into a care home. We had already lined up a "taster day" at my preferred home - I had looked at three or four already - so I had high hopes that Mum would like it. As it happens, she did, and I asked if she would like to go in for a longer term, like overnight? Yes please, was the response. Caroline arranged for Mum to go in permanently on Monday, and the last time I saw Mum was the Sunday before, nearly two and a half weeks ago now. 

It feels really weird. I am used to popping over at any time to see her, getting calls from the carers asking for help, etc. Now she needs time by herself to establish a routine, to get settled and used to her surroundings without our assistance. I get regular updates, she seems to be doing okay. But I can't *see* her. I did catch sight of her on the stairs when I was dropping some extra clothes round, but I don't think she saw me. The home are good at putting up pictures of what's going on on "social media" so I do get to see what she's been doing, but we've outsourced her care, even moreso than we did when we got a live-in carer, and it feels very, very odd. 

I am going to see her on Monday, so that will be something. I am not expecting to stay for long; once we've said hello to each other and I have asked how she is doing, I expect conversation will dry up. I will be able to update her on family goings-on, and blather on for a few minutes, but I won't want to stay for too long. It'll be interesting to see how she is. I think that currently Mum's mood depends on what she has been doing for the previous five minutes, so if the morning activities have been enjoyable and lunch tasty, I think she'll be in a good mood. If the morning activities are boring and lunch uninspiring, she might ask me to take her home. I don't know which way it's going to go. I guess we'll see when we get there... 

TTFN. 

22-08-21 - Sunday I - Farewell to the C-Max

For a number of years now, we've had a Ford C-Max. I'd forgotten how long, actually, but looking at the paperwork it's been since 2016, so six years. A couple of weeks ago while driving home from an appointment, it developed a fault. As we pulled out of Tesco, I noticed that the red battery light had come on. I pulled over and stopped the car, and restarted the engine. Great, I thought to myself, the light has gone out. But after a few seconds it came back on. Okay, not a big deal, I thought to myself, we're probably less than a mile from home. We can sort it out when we get back there. So things were fine, until we tried to turn into our road, when I realised that the power steering had stopped working. Trying to turn into the road at a low speed meant really applying some elbow grease into turning the wheel. I got that done, and then pulled up opposite the house, and stopped the engine, which was a mistake. When I tried to restart it, there was a clicking noise but the engine didn't turn over. So we had to push the car into the garden, and resolved to call the RAC the next morning.

Well the RAC man came and advised that the alternator was in a bad way. Not only had it stopped working (because normally it powers the battery) but it was short-circuiting, which meant that it was draining the battery - hence the speedy failure of the power steering. If we had driven much further I am sure other essentials, like the lights for instance, would have stopped working. So he offered to tow it to the garage for us, and I asked them to give us a quote to fix it, which came in at £890 - a bit too rich for my blood. If it had been more like £500, I would have done it, so instead we decided to scrap the car, and we got £250 for it. 

It's a bit of a shame, because we liked the size of the C-Max. We could fit the dog in the back, or a tent, or a super-massive weekly shop. Now we are reliant on a Fiesta, which is a much smaller car, and while in the short run there is no issue, I can see that long-term we will start to miss the C-Max. But while the cost of second-hand cars is so high, I can't see us replacing it - except that we might get some money in a couple of months from Dad's estate - but that is already ear-marked several times over, to pay for the extortionate energy costs incoming, and also to pay for TE's accommodation when she goes to University next year. So a spacious second car is very far down the priority list... 

TTFN. 

22-08-17 - Wednesday I - What to Write?

I sit here, angry and despairing in equal measure. Faced with a blank page, I have no idea where to start. Prices are rising and wages are stagnant, as has been the case for the past few years, and while some people have been willing to suck it up, prices are now rising at over 10% per year, which is unpalatable to those who have seen their disposable income being whittled away over the previous years, albeit at a slower rate. 

I realise that the prices are rising due to the war in Ukraine, but we could have taken steps in the last 12 years to ensure that the UK has a robust economy. Instead it feels like we've been hollowing it out, so that it looks fine from the outside, but at the first gust of unexpected global headwinds it collapses. The number of trades unions waking up to the fact that they are providing their labour and expertise for basically the same price as they did five years ago, despite the fact that their wages don't buy the same amount these days appears to be growing exponentially, and they are all deciding to strike. 

I'm not a member of a union, but normally wage discussions are ongoing when I get my annual settlement, and I have in the past been awarded what a union might refer to as "a derisory pay increase". As it is, I do (and have done) okay. But I can see why these guys are upset, and I can see why things are coming to a head now. So fair play and good luck to them. 

I guess the TL:DR point of this is that the UK economy is screwed (putting it politely) and currently I can't see any solution - certainly the solution isn't called Truss or Sunak. 

TTFN. 

22-07-10 - Sunday I - Interesting Times

Well, that was quite the week. The PM stood down, there was #JohnsonWatch on Twitter (that was my hashtag, picked up by absolutely nobody), and now the leadership candidates are beginning to emerge. It's quite entertaining to watch, but unfortunately we all know it's going to end horribly, with one of them in the position of Prime Minister. I long for a period of uncontroversial government, with some joined up thinking and maybe some long-term planning thrown in, but somehow I don't think that's what we're going to get. So what else is there to do but laugh as it all goes pear-shaped to an even greater degree than we ever thought possible? 

This current lot have been in power for the last twelve years; they are the "natural party of government", apparently, and yet they keep screwing up. I despair sometimes. I crave boring politics; as David Allen Green says regularly, constitutional politics should be boring, and I feel the same about UK domestic politics in general: we should be able to predict what our MPs will do in any given circumstance, and outcomes should be expected and dull. But unfortunately that hasn't been the case since Brexit. 

Cameron, when he was first elected, seemed quite sensible. Unfortunately Osborne implemented a policy of austerity which didn't work out how they expected it to work out, and certainly those who needed looking after weren't looked after, but it does seem that the candidates for the PM role are all promising Austerity #2. It's a shame that the party don't want to elect someone with broader appeal who might be able to build a consensus. So we'll have to enjoy the bits we can laugh at, and try to ignore the wider emerging horror. 

TTFN. 

22-06-07 - Tuesday I - Johnson Survives

This is not turning out as well as I'd hoped. I had loads of time last night when I could have written a blog entry, but instead I was watching TV because Boris Johnson (our Prime minister) was facing a vote of no confidence. It was a foregone conclusion that he would survive it, but the question was: by what margin? As it was 148 of his own MPs voted against him but that wasn't enough 2DS thrown him. It was an interesting evening of TV but I should have taken the time to write my daily 200 words.

Love Island started last night though, so that's a good thing and that should give me about 90 minutes each night in which I can compose my thoughts and update my blog. We've got eight weeks of that insufferable tosh to watch, so I might do something useful like push on with that coding course I was doing - it'd be good to have something productive to show for the next two months.

We also booked our hire car for our French holiday last night, we're going for a week to a villa in the South of France in July which hopefully will be lovely and relaxing and hot - we'll see... 

TTFN.

22-06-03 - Friday I - Sunny Afternoons

Well, that was a good start, wasn't it? I didn't get to write yesterday because we were at Level 1, enjoying the sunshine and a few beers. It was a glorious day, and it was lovely that it was a bank holiday. I don't know quite what is going on, I think the last few bank holidays we've had have been full of good weather; maybe it's global warming? Anyway, TW went out for a bike ride with Ty and when she got back we went out en famille and had a few bar snacks while we drank. We couldn't quite decide where to eat; we had kind of agreed on going to Woods Burger Kitchen, but when we got there the place was closed! 

We did go to Macmillans for a pint on the way home, and then when we got home we ordered kebabs from Worthing Kebab House. I had a falafel wrap and some fries, which was nice. I probably overdid it on the beers, I was feeling a little fragile today. I am trying to get back into staying dry and building up a yellow streak in my Try Dry app, but I am not being very successful. Still, there's time... 

Today we're off to see some friends who are having a Platinum Jubilee party, we are expecting crustless cucumber sandwiches and scones, and then there are a couple of street parties on Sunday, which will keep us busy. So lots to do before getting back to work on Monday. 

TTFN. 

22-06-01 - Wednesday I - 200 Words

So it's been a while. I always write that, because I don't update this blog as often as I'd like. So I thought, what with it being a new month, that I'd set myself a challenge; I'd write just, or at least, 200 words a day to briefly capture how I'm feeling, if nothing else.

We're currently watching Stranger Things series 4, which is beginning to gather in pace. The first two episodes were a bit slow to be honest, but the two episodes we watched tonight were good. I would've watched the next one but it's already 23:30 and it's past my bedtime. 

We're in a long weekend now, due to the Queen's jubilee. We've got both Thursday and Friday off - bargain! And we might get a couple of days off later in the year if she pops her clogs...

TW is going for a bike ride tomorrow and I've got a trip to the dump scheduled, despite the fact that it's a bank holiday. I think it's going to rain, but I'm not sure. We'll find out, I guess. I should probably go and see Mum too, apparently she's been in Arundel today, so hopefully she's enjoyed that. We've got a couple of parties to go to, and friends to see on Saturday too, if we can get organised. Hopefully it'll be good weather and we can have a few hours down at Level One. I'd enjoy that.

TTFN.

22-05-08 - Sunday I - Grumpy Old Man

I was driving over to see my Mum this morning and had to switch the car radio away from Radio 2. Not only was it Steve Wright, who was last "a thing" when I was doing my A levels, but the Sunday theme is "Sunday love songs", which to me is an overly-sentimental, cloying programme. The songs are okay, but I cannot stand the inbetween banter and dedications. 

Anyway, that explains why I was listening to Radio 1, at my age. The BBC have something for everyone, I believe, and if Radio 2 is a bit nausea-inducing for a few minutes, Radio 1 is often sufficient. 

But this morning, it wasn't. The DJ had introduced the topic of "funny shop names" and while there are some funny shop names, the ones he was reading out weren't particularly ground-breaking. The conversation was a bit vacuous, but at least it is normally broken up with a decent track or two. On this occasion, unfortunately, the DJ warned: "coming up after [x], Fontaines DC..." Well, that was enough for me, unfortunately. I switched the radio off. Fontaines DC are pretty good, I reckon, but at the moment they are suffering a bit from over-exposure, and it seems that they are being played on every show. 

So I drove to Mum's in relaxed silence, and appreciated the lack of meaningless chat and/or songs that I don't particularly like droning away. It's got to the point these days that silence is a weird unexpected thing, that we don't quite know how to deal with. But as a break from the non-stop stream of verbal nonsense and meaningless pop that pumps out of most radio stations, silence can be a refreshing and invigorating change. 

Anyway, as I turned the radio off, I thought to myself, "ha! You really are turning into a grumpy old man". 

TTFN.

22-04-07 - Thursday I - So Here It Is, Merry Covid

Finally I caught it. After two years of squirreling myself away, staying at home and away from crowded public places, I caught covid, and it was probably from our housewarming party. 

To be honest it wasn't much more than a heavy cold. But I have had both my jabs and a booster, so I am as vaccinated as I can currently be. I thought I had it, and stayed at home (didn't go in to the office) on the Tuesday, but I was testing negative. Then on Thursday afternoon I had a PCR test and the results of that, which I received on the Friday, confirmed that yes, I was indeed covid positive. I worked from home throughout, apart from on the Friday afternoon, but I did feel like crap for most of the week. Thank God for the vaccines though; I think I escaped relatively lightly. TW was bedbound for a few days, although she used that time to catch up on MAFSA. That was lucky, because it meant I didn't have to watch it...

I have felt a bit rough this week, which may be a hangover from covid. Other people have mentioned the same, that they thought they were better but then had a relapse. Or it could just be that I am sleeping really badly and so I am suffering during the days....? I guess we'll never know. 

TTFN. 

22-02-14 - Monday I - Moving House

So, we moved house, which is a thing that happened. On Friday morning we woke up in one house in Worthing and on Friday night we slept in a different house in Worthing. We haven't moved very far, obviously, but the new old house we're living in is a lot bigger than our previous house.

We weren't looking to move, as it happens; we quite liked the house we were living in and the road we lived on. We were surrounded by friendly neighbours who became friends more than neighbours. But TW spotted our new house while she was drunkenly surfing rightmove one night, and she started a chain of events which ended up with us living on the other side of Worthing. 

We had our house packed up by Perfect Group, who were really good. They wrapped everything fragile in paper and it took me about half an hour to unwrap all our shot glasses. I'll be glad if I never see one of those effers again! (The shot glasses, that is.) I'd have to recommend Perfect Group, they took out all the hassle of packing. TW had put in a lot of preparation, but it was funny/odd to unwrap the occasional item, such as an eggcup full of salt...

We used AVRillo to do our conveyancing, and again, they really were very good. They had a brilliant dashboard where we could see how both our sale and our purchase were progressing, and they kept us informed as we hit the various key points in the process. They also sent us a celebratory hamper once we had moved in to our new house, which was very much appreciated!

And the final party we relied on was the estate agent, Jacobs Steel. TW managed the relationship with them, but they liaised between the buyers and sellers and kept us all informed of what was going on. I was hoping to move on the 4th Feb, but they let us know in the nicest way that there were still a number of things which needed to happen, and it was unlikely. As it was, it only took four and a half months, but it does seem that it was a longer process. 

Anyway, it's been three and a half days, and the place already feels like home. That's down to TW unpacking everything like a whirling dervish and committing a lot of energy to making the place homely. She's already been painting today, to get the place *precisely* to her liking... If it had been down to me, it would probably have taken four weeks at least to unpack and sort everything. We've not met the neighbours yet, but hopefully they're soon to be friends. 

TTFN. 

22-01-28 - Friday I - Bess Atwell @ Patterns, Brighton (Thursday 27th Jan)

So last night I actually went "out out", into Brighton, to see a band! I'd heard Bess Atwell on Radio 6, and I have even added a couple of her songs to playlists on Spotify. I shared her song, Co-Op, with some friends on WhatsApp and one of them let me know that she was playing in Brighton. I looked into it and tickets were only £12, so I thought it was worth buying a ticket. 

This was my first time out in several months; I did go up to London to see PWEI last October, but then Omicron took over and I didn't see Cud at The Garage on Dec 4th or PWEI at Chalk in Brighton on Dec 11th. I took the train, wearing my mask, and feeling a bit trepidatious... 

I went straight to the venue and handed my coat in at the cloakroom. I wandered in to the main room and ordered myself a bottle of Brooklyn Lager Special Effects. I was debating whether to have an actual beer, but Special Effects is one of my favourite non-alcoholic beers, so I was happy drinking that. 

There were two support bands, Growing Boi and Almahata. They were on early, which suited me, and Bess herself was due to take to the stage at 9pm. They were both good acts, very much singer-songwriters, and Growing Boi had a great voice I thought, if the guitar playing was a bit dodgy. He then went on to support Almahata and Bess, so he must be a very accomplished musician. Almahata (which is actually a female solo act called Phoebe) was good too, and she had one particular song, What if Now We All Change, which I really liked. 

The two support bands were downtempo, acoustic (ish) and what I'd expect to see as support for an act like Bess Atwell. Bess herself came on at 9pm with a non-alcoholic beer and a camomile tea, which gives you some indication I suppose of her target audience. Patchouli incense sticks and ethically-crafted sandals didn't feel like they were too far away. The audience were enraptured. Although Bess and Chris were using microphones and amps, her songs are very intimate and there was a silence that took over the venue while she was singing. In between songs there were a lot of calls of "we love you, Bess!" and "Marry me!" She played the Co-Op song early on in her set, and there weren't any other songs which I was holding out for; there weren't many others that I knew, although I did enjoy Cherry Baby and Time Comes in Roses. 

It got to just after half past nine and thoughts started turning to bedtime. I'm such a middle-aged man. I knew that it would take me a while to get home, and while the music was great it wasn't energising and there weren't any specific songs I was waiting to hear Bess sing live. So I waited for a song to finish, and then I collected my coat and headed off to the station. 

It was a good enjoyable night, but it wasn't particularly what I was looking for last night. Maybe it was the first time for a while that I'd been in a busy venue, but I also think I've got quite a lot of other things going on, being Mum mostly but there is other stuff I'm worrying about too. I appreciated the performances, but I was glad to be heading home and I was pleased when I managed to get to bed at a comparatively reasonable time. I think I'd be happy to go and see any of these acts again, but I'd need to be in the right frame of mind to properly enjoy the experience. 

TTFN. 

22-01-20 - Thursday I - What To Do?

Well, this is weird. I'm now back at home and a professional carer is looking after Mum. Last time Mum had a carer, which was late August last year, the carer only lasted two or three days, so I am sitting here half expecting a phone call informing me that the situation is not sustainable and that the carer is leaving. In addition, for the last five months my primary concern has been Mum and her welfare, and it's a novel sensation  to sit here and realise that Mum doesn't have to be the first thing I think about any more. I can read a book, or browse Private Eye and not be distracted by worrying what Mum is up to or whether she is bored. 

The thing is, I'm not sure yet what I want to do. There are a number of back issues of PE that I need to catch up on, as well as a number of podcasts that I've neglected. I've been out for my first run of the year. I will probably take the dog for a walk later this afternoon. And I'd like to keep the house tidy, to an extent. I will also look to go to back to work earlier than expected - I had targeted April 1st, but I don't think I need that much time. It will be good to have *some time* to decompress and get used to life as it was and should be, but I won't need two and a half months, I think. Although we are planning to move house soon, so some time to manage / help out with that will be useful. 

If the carer works out she'll be staying with Mum for twelve weeks, which would take us up to 11th April or so. I am hoping that by then my staying here and Mum being looked after elsewhere will seem normal; I guess we'll have to wait and see how it goes. 

TTFN. 

22-01-05 - Wednesday I - A Glimmer

So today we had a call, one of the agencies we've been working with has a candidate to care for Mum. They say she's good, they've worked with her before, and they think she'd be a good fit for Mum. 

Sounds promising, and she can start soon as well. That might mean - well, it does mean - that respite care in a residential home is off the table, at least for the foreseeable. The carer can stay for 12 weeks, apparently, which is a good chunk of time and will hopefully allow Mum to get used to her. We'll see how that goes, as she will hopefully start in ten days or so...

TTFN.

22-01-04 - Tuesday I - Respite Care is Off

Today we received the unwelcome news that more people in the care home we wanted Mum to go to have tested positive for covid, and so Mum won't be going there any time soon. I'm a bit worried about what might happen at the weekend, but we have a couple of friends who may be able to help, so all is not lost.

 

It may be worth looking at other homes, and as TW pointed out, they are likely to be smaller, more independent operations and it may be quicker to get Mum placed. Especially if they are set up to offer respite. We'll have to see how that goes. Just when I thought we were beginning to see the wood for the trees...

TTFN. 

2022-01-03 - Monday I - Back to Mum's

So, that's the festive season over and the New Year well and truly seen in. Now the humdrum returns, and it's back to Mum's to make sure that she's okay. She was quite teary when I arrived; I think she's beginning to feel loss but doesn't quite know why. 

I brought her to my house for a while, to see TW and the girls, and to have a cuppa. Then we went to the big Tesco to shop, that takes an extra bit of time. And then home with some bulging bags. She spoke to a friend on the phone and then another called later, and that seemed to lift her spirits. 

We did have an argument about her elevating her foot (it's still swollen from the bunion operation), but that had seemed fade into inconsequence later in the evening.

Then it was Coronation Street and time for bed, and day one back at the ranch was done...

TTFN.

2022-01-02 - Sunday I - Slowly Does It

Yesterday we visited Level 1 and had a few drinks there and at the Rose and Crown. It was a nice afternoon and evening, but I should have stopped drinking earlier than I did and I am suffering now. I don't regret it, but I do wonder if it was worth it. I won't have a drink now for a while - that'll help to build up a nice run of yellow tea symbols on my Try Dry app. 

It's nice to drink for a change, but I don't want to go back to drinking as much as I used to - that was pointless. It's a way of relaxing that I haven't quite managed to replicate without drinking. A friend once said that a drinking session was like setting a mental "out of office" message, or absolving yourself of responsibility for a few hours, and I think he was right. If there was a way to achieve the same thing without drinking, I'd seriously consider whatever that was... Anyway, that's it for this morning. 

TTFN. 

22-01-01 - Saturday I - Happy New Year

My #newyearsresolution, as every year, is to blog more often. I was thinking that brief and dull might be the order of the day (order of the year?).

I saw the New Year in sober, which was nice. Hopefully more of that on the cards in 2022. And less time spent at Mum's - that'd be good. 

Anyway, just a short one to start with. 

TTFN.